So I'm now facing the possibility that the cause of the chronic stomach pain I've been having may be a soy allergy. I already tried cutting out dairy for about two and a half weeks and the pain was still there, so now I'm cutting out soy from my diet to see if the pain goes away. This puts me in an uncomfortable position, because if I'm allergic to soy, I really don't think I can be a vegetarian, seeing as I'd basically have no sources of protein available. I'd have to be consuming raw vegetables and legumes and nuts or whatever exclusively and on a regular basis, and that's not something I'm really prepared to do.
I am, however, feeling bad about the looming possibility of eating meat. I'd taken a pretty significant moral stand against me personally doing it, and it's taken a lot of commitment. I'm actually really proud that I've been able to stay vegetarian for two years.
I think the fact that, if it happens that I am allergic to soy, a part of me will really enjoy being able to eat meat again only makes me feel more guilty about it. I guess I'm going to have to change my thinking if I'm forced into that option. I probably won't eat as much meat as I did before, though, and maybe later in life I could find some way to cut it from my diet again.