||[Mar. 17th, 2010|01:31 am]
It's easy for me to think of Oregon as a place I kinda just wasted three years by putting my life on hold, but I think I don't think I've personally grown as much anytime but these last three years. I think you just have to go through difficult shit in order to understand it. Or at least in order to be able to work through more shit in an optimal way. I feel really mature, stronger in ways that I've completely neglected; proud of myself, even. |
So, I see am actual future for myself on the horizon. I'm hoping I can make friends easier now that I'm a little more confident and expressive. I guess I should try harder to make friends now.
I'm reading a book about Quakerism that I randomly found at the PCC library that's really interesting (Friends For 300 Years - Brinton.)One of the most interesting things about it is that it's based on direct spiritual experience rather than a set of dogmas or beliefs. They call themselves "possessors" in contrast to other Christians, who are merely "professors" and their services have to do with sitting in silence and waiting for contact with the Holy Spirit. It's a take on Christianity that's really genius and that I've never heard before. For example, the Atonement has always been something I've had a huge problem with. I find the "orthodox" explanation of a blood sacrifice to an angry God to even our debts because we're inherently Fallen creatures barbaric, illogical, and counter-productive. It also has the singular flaw of treating God as a person; a judge in the sky sending down his son for the sake of all us sinners (Jews at least have prohibitions against anthropomorphism of God as a kind of idolatry.) HOWEVER, the Quaker interpretation of the Atonement not only makes sense to me, but is actually really brilliant. They see the crucifixion not as the offering of some sacrificial lamb so much as an evolution into a higher form of being. A transformation via the Holy Spirit through pain. In addition, it's actually stated that the historical crucifixion is not as important as the internal spiritual event it mirrors. Quakers see the Atonement as an eternal process that has been going on before Christ and continues after; basically a historical reflection of an inwardly spiritual process. They still see Christ on the cross as providing a bridge between man and the Divine in a new covenant, but they don't see Christ as dying for our sins.
In addition, Quakers have a commonly held maxim that each is given a measure of the Holy Spirit in accordance to his level of spiritual advancement/understanding. So, they see Jesus not as some supernatural God in human form, but as a man who was given a full, unlimited measure of the Holy Spirit. This seems to make a lot of sense to me, and puts the Trinity in a much more logical perspective. I also had a big problem with the concept of the Trinity; I think it's ridiculous to set up a limit of three forms to God's expression, and the Quakers seem to have a similar stance.
I found a website and am planning to wake up early next Sunday to go to a meeting. I figure if I can wake up early for work, I can wake up early for this.
Sometimes I think that maybe I should start another blog just to write about religious and psychological subjects. But then I realize that I barely write in this thing anyway.